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A Question of Mistaken Identity"Oh hello! Nice to meet you. What do you do then?" How many times have we said this to a new acquaintance? We say it almost automatically. It's a socially sanctioned greeting which passes without much thought. "Oh ... I ... uhm, don't work ... I've got this painful condition you see ..." "Oh, I'm at home with the children ... but I do get out and help out as much as I can you know!" When the apologetic embarrassed fumbling has finished, the damage has been done. When work, (narrowly understood), is allowed to define our sense of identity and we don't work, then we feel guilty at not doing our bit; we feel that we have little or no standing in the eyes of others. It's a question of mistaken identity. Not with Descartes do we say "I think therefore I am," rather "I work therefore I am." (I don't know which is worse!) What's so distressing is that we all seem to fall into the trap; we all so easily accept what contemporary culture says about ourselves and our self worth. Perhaps the mode of questioning should consciously change. How about the following openers? " ... what are your interests then?" " ... how is your family / friend faring?" " ... how's your week been?" The questions our Lord asked people were even more to the point. "Do you want to be healed?" (John 5:6) "Who do you say that I am?" (Mark 8:29) "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" (John 21:16) Perhaps we can help turn the tide on how we see ourselves and each other simply by asking more appropriate questions in ordinary conversations. Such a simple thing to do really and so potentially fruitful! Fr. Gregory |
